Trained to suck the Huge Ghetto Bull

It was owned by the most recent person to come home to retire in the hamlet. Her children had insisted.My reliable thirty year old 2 cylinder Fiat was...parked at the bottom of the cliff. It was a twenty minute walk, using the secure footing down an old shepherds trail ... ten, if you're running like the devil was after you, as I was. But it was sixty minutes from the nearest village by vehicle along the circuitous road up here. The nearest Polizia Provinciale was a single man three villages. Suddenly, my stomach tied itself in knots ... I felt ... loose ... my asshole clenched. I slipped the guitar in its plush case and stood ... one might say I waddled down the hall and to the bathroom ... Waddled is too slow but my guts wouldn't have withstood a run ... or even a 'trot.'To myself ... but aloud ... I mumbled, "Don't fart ... don't fart."The light was out ... the door was open. I said a silent thanks to what ever gods there be, dropped my shorts and sat ... with milliseconds to. More

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