I rolled over and looked at John in the dim light of the few electronics in the room. He was always a back sleeper. His body was exposed and I couldn�...�t help but look at it in a very different way now. I tried not to and cursed myself for thinking those thoughts about my best friend. But I just couldn’t help it. The flood gates of my feelings had been unleashed and I could not rebuild the dam ever again.I am not sure when I finally fell asleep I just remember how I woke up. John was shaking me,. Up to now I believeI have succeeded in keeping my 'other side' a secret from my neighbours.However, this has meant that when I want to go out as 'Caroline', Iusually have to hire a hotel room in somewhere like a Travelodge where Ican get changed for male to female mode. This is not only inconvenientbut also an expensive addition to the cost of an outing.I live in a small cul-du-sac on a newish housing estate. Although mosthouses on the estate are either detached or semis, mine is one of ashort. More

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