So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough ... there's an ad for "Bear Removers."He calls the number and the man says he'll be over in 30 minutes...The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van.He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old dog."What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks."I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and I'll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.When the bear falls off. He soon came out and to a mixture of my horror and delight saw me and began to walk over. I adopted as casual manner and pose as I could muster. "Hi" he said as he drew near, "hi" I responded. "You local?" he asked cheerfully, "pretty local" was my response. "Nice place- does much happen here?". "Not a lot of excitement" I said. "Pity- I like excitement!" "Me too". "Could do with a bit now if you get my meaning?" , he said, brushing my arm. "I do", and rather boldly for me I brushed my arm. More

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