After we left the base, Richard started laughing to himself. ‘Okay,’ I said, ‘want to let me in on the joke so I can laugh too.’ ‘Sorry,’ ...aid Richard as he was regaining his breath, ‘Alan’s the one that said I was stupid for talking to you even though I told him how intelligent and nice you were. He told me you were probably a nerdy dog and told me to get dog biscuits before meeting you. He never skipped a day at zinging me for emailing you. His expression was priceless.’ I was laughing too. Should I lie and say one? I didn’t have a problem referring to Brie, who I’d banged twice at that point. It looked like her and I might actually be together. We’d gone out on several excursions that one might even refer to as dates. So I could sound like a regular college Freshman—the kind you see smiling in over-lit pictures on pamphlets advertising safe sex—or I could tell the truth. Which was, I think, five, including Brie. Three of whom I was certain I’d had actual intercourse with. Then. More

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