I could see being with him, and I was ashamed of my reluctance to have it be known. But I was also very aware of how young he was... which made me a l...ttle nervous about the stigma I'd earn being with so comparatively young a man, but also guilty in another way. Adam was gay. He'd known it for years, and confirmed it for himself with me. He was about to embark on the next stage of his life. He would come out to his family and friends, and immerse himself in the gay community wherever he ended. She seemed to float across my field of vision. "You are tightly bandaged. There is an oxygen tube in your nose. Please, dearest one, don't fight it." Wanna fuck?" I asked her and passed out. I don't remember saying any such thing but Julie assured me I said it in just those words.I came back awake again, a bit at a time. Everything seemed to be in a gray fog. A part of me knew I was doped to the gills, but that part was also so numb it couldn't protest. For the longest time I would wake up, go. More

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