I was comfortable, even then, letting Jas be in control. I led him upstairs to where my bedroom/ bathroom was. He ran the water, and poured in some b...bbles. He sat on my bed, and took off his shoes, then he grabbed my hand and pulled me into his lap. My heart was racing as he kissed me for the first time. He told me to get some towels, and asked me where I kept my underwear and pj’s. I showed him my drawers. He picked out a nightie and some panties. he kissed me as he undressed me. taking off. My heart was pounding. I put my hand on the knob and stopped." You stopped?" Yep. Chickened out." For heaven's sake, why?" I don't know. I was more than ready. I think I was afraid of the possibility of rejection. Anyway I went back to my room and cried. I didn't know what was worse. Having him reject me not only sexually but as his mother as well. I couldn't live with that. If I didn't go through with it, I could at least keep the fantasy. And I would still have my son. Finally, I fell asleep.. More

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