I went to local gay saunas (bathhouses) quite a lot then. I’d usually have a full bladder just in case I met a guy who was into piss as well – but...most times – by the end of the evening I’d just settle for vanilla playing around.On this evening I was at a sauna which had quite a big video room – quite dark – with a sling in one corner (leather suspended on chains). There were about six guys – a couple of us (including me) were masturbating as we watched the porn.A tall bear like guy entered the. “No, I just…”I refused to feel guilty about this. “What, looking for answers. I don’t have any.” I knew it was cruel, but I was trying to save myself. “It was just sex. That’s all it was. Sex. A fuck. Get over it.”I watched a wall come up inside him. I knew I had just reached in and taken his heart and slashed it in two. But I couldn’t stop myself.“No Sam. I’m not stalking you. Yes, I know it was just sex. I’ve always known it was just a fuck to you. But it turned into something more for me.. More

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