You might think this is funny, but itabsolutely the truth.But I am a patient guy. And I can count, too. So, Iwaited until one night when our neighbors...were out in thefield. I got my girlfriend very drunk. I knew it wasabout 13 days after the first day of her last periodbecause I kept track–and she did not. (I actually kept aclipboard with the dates so that I could track when shestarted her period.) I did not allow my woman to use thepill, and usually we used a condom. But this night I was. "You're right." I slipped my tongue into the folds on his ear which made him tighten his grip. "I'm going to burn breakfast if you don't go sit down," I whispered again in his ear. I felt goosebumps raise along his neck and cheeks."This is going to be a long couple of months." He stepped back and reluctantly let go of me. "Can I do anything to help?" Cut some fruit if you want. I cleaned the strawberries and there are some oranges in the bowl over there."As he sat down to cut the fruit I. More

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