"How the fuck should I know?" I asked."Then his bollocks will be pulp," she explained."Right, waste of fucking time then?" I suggested."Yes," she said...with a massive grin, "Bye! Alf Weedersshain." It's fucking Allthwaite," I says as I watched them tottering away on their high heels little asses wobbling like a pair of fucking rabbits.I had a few jars in the pub, like you do, well there's fuck all else to do is there, checked out the train times, like there's one every quarter hour from. Finally they came up wiping their eyes. Margaret took my hand and shook it then turned her hand and brought mine to her lips and kissed it. She looked at me with laughing eyes, “Oh thank you for that moment I haven’t laughed like that, well in years. Although,” she said shaking her hair back, “I can’t for the life of me explain why.”Margaret was Head Librarian and she explained to me that the stacks were not really in the building. “No there are far too many books in the true stacks, they are. More

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