She was still dressed the same as earlier and looked nice, “No Ben tonight” I asked and her facial expression was enough, no words were needed. �...Nice robe” she said as I sat down and to be honest in the sitting position it didn’t leave too much to the imagination, “Thanks” I said offering her a hit on the smoke which at first she declined but then accepted due to the stress of the day, she took a big hit and nearly choked her guts up, “Fuck be that’s strong” she said taking another, I just. Part of that is learned behavior when you just accept life sucks and prepare for the worst then you can be pleasantly surprised. Which I’ve found beats the hell out of having hope and then getting it crushed out of you time after time. The other part comes from being in chronic pain. It’s hard to be in a civil much less happy mood when you constantly hurt. It wears on you. Then there’s the anxiety that comes from the fallout of the illness. I.E. paying bills with little money. Trying to. More

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