... What are you scared about?" Like I said, this is a very big deal for me. I'm married with k**s. If they ever found out about this, I could lose...a lot! My parents and sisters wouldn't like it either." The same is true for me. But, this isn't about them, it's for us. We don't want to throw everything we have away, AGREED. But I don't think this craving will ever stop. We can torment ourselves and never know, or we can discover what it's like. You don't have to worry about me calling. I haven't cried since my dog died when I was a kid. Not a full blown cry like this. It takes five minutes before my breathing is back to normal. My face is still warm and my eyes are watery but I don't feel like I'm about to have a crying fit over some stupid little-! Argh! I can feel it starting again just at the thought of Ed and his problem. No. No, no. More deep breaths. Slowly. How stupid is this? I know it's not my fault. There's no way this should upset me like that. I want to go home. I. More

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