Neil explained that as we were moving from something mainly physical to something that was a mix of physical and emotional, it would feel different.Pu... like this, it all seemed very logical, and it helped reduce my fears a little. Neil confessed that he felt turned on and excited by my feelings about my first date with Jason as my boyfriend. I smiled, thinking how much I loved him, but also that I’d never fully understand the pleasures he got sharing me with Jason. I understood it better now. But after forty-five minutes, I knew that she would not be back. A sickening feeling came over me, knowing that for the first time she was on her own with another man. All sorts of scenarios were going through my mind, what if she got hurt, but knowing John, he would never do that. What if she fell in love with him and left me, that one I could not reason away.I watched the 11 o'clock news with only the very slightest of interest. At 11:30 I walked to the door one more time and took a long look. More

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