But even worse than red carpet events is the godawful plebs who accost you in the street. Now I know that life as a saddo is a pretty dreary affair an... that actually spotting an honest-to-God, bona fide, super-celebrity such as myself is a cause of instantaneous trouser spunkies, soggy knickering, and all loss of bladder control, but this slice of Banoffee Pie isn't just going to eat itself and your not going to improve its flavour or my enjoyment of it by rubbing your cheek against mine and. But when I glanced down there wasn't no red ants on me at all. But my skin was crawlin'. And so was my flesh. I could feel my insides churnin' and changin'. I felt liquid run out of me and I thought I saw it steam from the fever heat that had taken' me. It felt like my whole body was changin'. Then the pain hit. Just as I blacked out I noticed that my hair had gotten real long and gone all golden/white... just like the weird little girls. I woke up back inside the farmhouse, on that very couch. More

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