I know. How as I to comprehend women were Darwinian beasts just like men? How was I to realize that women liked to piss and mark their territory? How ...as I to suspect Eva-Jane had a brain full of drawers cluttered with knives ready to backstab even her best friend? Fuck I was sixteen. I didn’t have a clue about women. It was only much later that I would learn that the most attractive thing to women about a man was that other women desired him. In 1984 I had no idea. Kristy loved to sing. She. Well, have any of your boyfriends been into anything a bit – well - kinky?”“Not really. Unless you count a serious fetish for leaving the toilet seat up. I mean Jerry – you remember Jerry? – used to like me to keep my shoes on in bed, which I guess is a bit odd.”“Especially as you’re usually in trainers!”“Right. But apart from that no. I mean what are we talking about here? Fifty shades of Grey? He’s invited you up to his red room of pain?”“No, not at all. Well, quite the reverse. More

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