.”“No,” he interrupted. “I thought you were going to massage me.”A flicker of annoyance crossed the doula’s face, but it was gone almost a... soon as it had arrived.“Of course,” she said, her voice calm. “Please; take off your shoes.”For the next fifteen minutes, she talked the husband through the art of massage, demonstrating on his feet. By the time she was done, the room smelled like lavender.“Thanks,” he said, and she nodded her head in response. “What else?”“Pardon?”“What else could. Think about cleaning your room. This place is a mess!”“Mom!”“Sorry! Just relax and stay perfectly still! Mommy will think of something!”“Mom?” Gwen said timidly. “How about ice? M-O-N-O-S calm down from our pheromones if they get in an ice bath.”“I can spell, dummy!” Helen cried. “Don’t talk about, uh, them!”“Jeez, I’m just trying to help!” Gwen shouted angrily. “If we put ice in your lap, it’ll be better than a cold shower! Your penis will get soft in no time!”“Don’t say penis! Just shut up!”. More

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