Maybe I can find a way? It would sure help if I had that kind of company.Journal - Oct. 1 - It's Friday night and I just had a drink (actually, four) ...ith Bonny. So now I'm over my embarrassment and I'll write what I couldn't write last night. I'm getting to be an old maid! I'm almost twenty-seven and I've never ... well, I'm not going to write that. I'm not that drunk. But I'm an expert at masturbation. I wonder if the real thing is better? (Is a coke bottle 'the real thing'? I ought to try.). She left, her eyes hungrily looking at the bulge in my shorts, with a content smile.It was the next day that was the most memorable - at least to relate it here in writing. It was the day that our sanctuary was defiled, that mother was forced to revert back to that lost slut that I found weeks before. Yet it was also the proof I think she needed to show her that I meant it when I said she was mine and that I was not going to leave her. And it came about simply by my father coming for a. More

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