Part of that is learned behavior when you just accept life sucks and prepare for the worst then you can be pleasantly surprised. Which I’ve found be...ts the hell out of having hope and then getting it crushed out of you time after time. The other part comes from being in chronic pain. It’s hard to be in a civil much less happy mood when you constantly hurt. It wears on you. Then there’s the anxiety that comes from the fallout of the illness. I.E. paying bills with little money. Trying to. ?Be careful what you wishfor.? Kelly replied, basking in the hazy afterglow of alcohol and endorphins.?I mean it.? He said,suddenly serious. ?I want to be your slave. No limits. Fulltime. You can have it all.??Is that an offer ?? she giggled. After that, it became theirprivate joke. Each New Year?s Eve, they?d kiss and she?d whisper in his ear.?I?m still mulling over youroffer you know.?Gradually, their sex lifehad evolved. They had met when she was 18 and he was 22. She was a virgin, hewas. More

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