When my sexual feelings were strong I would wear lingerie under my clothes, wear it when I pleasured myself in my dorm room. I would stay on campus ov...r the weekends when the college emptied out so I could play dress up for days at a time without having to worry about interruptions. I felt guilty. I wanted to please my parents. I guess it’s just a biological side effect some of us inherit from childhood. I was so hung up on making them proud. It’s why I went to such great lengths to keep this. We rode to the mall in a strange silence, tinged with what I could only sense was sexual stimulation mixed with anxiety. As we got out of the car at the mall, Joey suggested I leave the jacket in the car. I hesitated a second, afraid that Joey would be embarrassed by what he would now clearly see was my almost blatant nakedness beneath my tights and sweater, but I did as he asked. Neither of us said a word as we walked to the mall entrance, but I could see Joey stealing surreptitious glances. More

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