"And you loved the feeling, Mom?" he asked. "I mean about being humiliated that way?"She nodded, unable to lie to him."Do those dreams make you come?"...Yes." she whispered."I bet you like being told what to do that way." Brian said. "I bet if I did things just like in your dreams, you'd come good, Mom." Probably," she replied. "I'd feel horribly ashamed, but yes... I'd come, I'm sure." What if I told you to go outside naked?" Brian, you wouldn't!" she said, fear in her voice that he might do. I kept thinking I was making myself gay. And Ididn't want that. I didn't want to be gay. I just wanted him. Mike'sDad. To hug me, to hold me, talk to me. That's not gay, is it? It's notlike I wanted to be a fag. I still want to get married. I still want k**ssome day. I went back to the mall. I thought maybe that guy might be there.It had been a couple of weeks since I'd seen Mike's Dad. I missed him.Mike has a family picture on his desk. His Dad is wearing a beautifulstriped shirt,. More

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