The more my depression grew the more intensity my anger had. At the second round of surgery, the spiral was tight, hard, and fast. Depression followe... by anger, sympathy/anger, dependence/anger. Flowers were out the door, followed by running visitors and then by nurses, broken glass in the hallway. Followed by another vase full, and another. It took Mary to get close enough to sedate me. A lot of the rest of that hospital stay just settled into a fog of drugs. My anger settled into white-hot. They were having a romantic holiday I guess and I really didnt mean to spoil the atmosphere for them but it happened too quick. We looked at each other so many times that I even raised my glass and smiled, he didnt respond. When he went up to the counter to get a couple of drinks, I moved closer and said “hi”. He was puzzled at first but he asked politely “do I know you?”. I told him maybe we might have met before in a seminar or something. If he was a straight guy he would have reacted. More

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