The video was bad. Not poorly shot, but bad for me because it showed me loving what was happening. I know that mentally I was out of it, but physicall... my body responded to everything the boys did to me. I have no idea how things went before Billy shot the video - I could very well have lain there like a limp dish rag - but eventually my body got into it and that's when Billy started taping.He had video of me doing things that I had never even considered doing with my husband. He had me on tape. "Hold tight," I said to myself, and then my body began sprinting. Notsprinting like I would have done, awkwardly flailing and puffing, mybreasts bouncing haphazardly... No. This was controlled, careful.My legs guided themselves rapidly around a tree, and I gasped internallyas I felt myself leap over a fence, barely clearing it. I certainlywouldn't have been able to do that on my own -- I was almost afraid of myown instinctual movements, overwritten as they were by my controller. IfI twisted the. More

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