"She emphasised her statement of intent by licking the inside of my ear.I had to readjust my dress for the sake of comfort and modesty.We both had the...pottage, which was both filling and appetising. I have no idea what it comprised, but Maddy, who was quite a connoisseur of vegetarian dishes, pronounced it 'absolutely scrumptious', which in Sloaniespeak means 'fucking amazing.'"I'm going to the kitchen to congratulate Zak on the pottage," Maddy said, "I might worm the recipe out of him. I can. He could not go back, and he could not cross the field so he waited, quietly for the soldiers to come and kill him. A sad and moving story. My fickle mind jumped to a favourite gag by Max Miller. ‘Well there I was Missus. I was crossing a narrow bridge and walking towards me was this beautiful girl. Tell you what Missus, I couldn’t decide whether to toss myself off, or block her passage.’ It made me giggle uncontrollably. What a vulgar little trollop I was! I thought how Philip’s mum, Madge. More

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