“For the benefit of the observers in the courtroom, both of these offenses are very rare; you might not even find the words in a dictionary. Champer...y is the sharing in the proceeds of a lawsuit by an outside party — in this case, Ms. McCarthy’s sponsoring foundation — who has promoted the litigation. Barratry is the offense of persistently instigating lawsuits, typically groundless ones.“I’m sure many of you have seen advertisements placed by trial lawyers looking for plaintiffs. It might be. Then we learned that there was a British army hospital unit stationed not too many miles away where female nurses were stationed, so we organized monthly Bingo sessions and invited the Brits to come and play Bingo and down a few beers with us, Mingling publicly with those nurses, several of whom were very attractive, but not being able to do more than that, made us even hornier than we had been before. We couldn’t even cop a good feel of their buxom breasts. “Stressful” doesn’t even come close. More

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