She was helpless and she knew it. She always woke up in a cold sweat and a scream. Gary had kept her from sleeping in his bed, for just that reason.He... scream still echoed in her ears as she awoke from her nap. She needed to check the time, to get supper prepared. She did not wear a watch or any other jewelry. The clock in the kitchen told her that she had woken up just in time to prepare dinner. But it was Friday night and Gary might bring home his friends from work. Two weeks ago he had. “What are the charges, your Highness?” Queen Peenatricia stood from her throne. “I have the list of charges right here. First, your schlong is too thin. An individual’s whole hand can wrap around it. Second, on your records, it reads on your last measurement your penis was only 14 and a half inches long when completely erect. Third, your sperm count when you ejaculated measured only 10 tablespoons. The average volume for an ejaculation is three gallons. Fourth, you aren’t circumcised. All. More

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