Sometimes mates at school would ask what I was doing at night, but as we lived in the country I would just say staying in. I realized I couldn't tell ...hem that I was going to have cuddles with my Mum. This is when I started to feel shame about being a "Mummy's boy". I felt that maybe something was wrong with me. I was f******n and I loved being with my Mother more than anyone else. I was starting to think that maybe I was some kind of freak and shouldn't be alive. I became sad. I didn't want to. It said 8pm, but it was already pitch black outside. “Dad, is that you? I can’t see in the dark?”“Yes baby, its me, I want to keep the lights off, I think it would be more relaxing that way so we can talk. Stay there and I will come sit by you.” I lay on my bed waiting for the scolding to come, even though he sounded more calm. Dad stretched out next to me, and wrapped his arm around me, I was laying on my side, with my back to him. He spoke softly, “Sweetheart, I forgive you for falling. More

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