So that was incident number one that my husband saw me in action and I was amazed by how much extra I was aroused knowing he was there watching. It al...o was a major stepping stone into me accepting that he was really into this type of play. I suddenly felt a whole lot happier and Dave said it showed. It was at this point I knew I could and would fuck who I wanted and when I wanted, I would tell Dave, but not ask him.Toby came to stay with us Friday and Saturday night 6 weeks later. He was much. I realize now, you never said it in front of anyone else, it was always something between you and I. I missed so many of the little signs you had given me that I wouldn't be rejected. But, sadly, it's too late to change any of that. If I had it to do all over again, I would do so many things differently. I made my bed, now I must lie in it, forever. I have to atone for the pain I caused. It's my burden, and some days, I truly do struggle with it. The words are just words, i can say "I'm sorry". More

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