"He said to get you home very soon," I replied.As Warrant kicked into "Heaven" I hugged her loosely, for obvious reasons. But I knew time was limited...or there could be a mess even Tide Pods couldn't fully resolve so I began inching us out the gate, past the two-mile line at the Port O' Potty. Jogging briskly and watching her butt jiggle all the way, I yelled, "Run, Forrest, run!", which brought her to a sudden stop, turning to glare are me saying, "Forest? Listen, if it bothers you that much. He asks if I see his encouraging friends behind him, cheering for him, and I reassure him they’re watching our every move. There’s absolutely no way that this chick is going home with me tonight. First I pretend she’s not there, and then I’m telling her all about my dumb friends, and my collection of beer mugs – don’t ask. She’s still smiling, oddly enough. I apologize for making a fool of myself, and tell her that really my friends pick out girls for me to take home, but tonight you stood out. More

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