It was not just a dream. It developed into a craving for pain and humiliation that I neither could or wanted to control. I realized that it had to sur...ace some day. I read everything I could on the subject and when I found 'The Story of O' it was like a revelation to me. I also wrote down many of my secret dreams and desires and mostly I destroyed my notes so that nobody would see them. My entire teens were filled with casual sex contacts that left me cold and a constant feeling of. He says all we want to do is fuck your ass, on your knees and on your back. We will all use condoms and when we are done that’s it take your money and go. If you are having second thoughts just return the envelope I gave you and that’s it. My eyes dart around the room, I point to the bathroom.“Help yourself, use anything you want.”I close the door behind me and stare in the mirror thinking I should give him his money back and get out of here. I make my decision to forget this whole idea when I. More

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