There seemed to be something missing, as if our bodies were involved, but our hearts were not.And yet, each time I considered ending our relationship,...I was overwhelmed with the knowledge that I could not leave him. I felt as if living without him would be impossible. But living with him was empty. I knew something was wrong, something was missing from our relationship, but I could not understand what. I tried not to think about it and instead tried to drown him in the passion I once felt for. "I suppose because I'm more scared now." What? Of me?" No," I denied. But quickly relented, "Well yes! In part." But why?" Because of what you said the other night. How much you wanted to hurtme. I guess it made me realise how easily you could. You said you likedseeing me so vulnerable. And I am. I'm so disempowered, just like yousaid. I'm at your mercy. And this right now, where a part of your bodyis inside me. It's fucking terrifying!" I wasn't thinking it was a punas I said it, but I suppose. More

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